AND YES, THIS IS THE KIND OF IMAGE THAT SCARES CHURCHGOERS IN THE DEEP SOUTH.
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May 30, 2006
YOU KNOW, UP UNTIL NOW - I NEVER REALLY PAID ATTENTION TO BATWOMAN.
But now she's being recreated in a UK graphic novel, where she'll be a lipstick lesbian. Nope, not kidding.
I'm having a hard time with this - am I proud of liberals' ability to consider jamming the cultural agenda? Or am I irritated, knowing that all this is going to do is help turn out the fundamentalist vote in November?
May 28, 2006
SO IN CASE YOU MISSED IT...
Pat Robertson is claiming he can leg-press 2,000 pounds. That would beat the record by about 600 lbs., so it's a little hard to believe.
Then again, he thinks the earth was created in a literal six days.
May 26, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOB.
Sorry I'm a few days late.
SUFFICE IT TO SAY, SOMEONE TOOK A WRONG TURN.
Thanks to crooksandliars.com for the link.
MAYBE WHEN YOU TURN EIGHTY, THEY'LL LET YOU DECIDE THE DRESS CODE TOO.
May 25, 2006
HAVE A GREAT FOUR DAY WEEKEND.
Take your family out to a nice dinner or something.
CORPORATE SPOKESMAN CAVEMAN OR NBA CAVEMEN?
NO.
Look, I'm willing to let you take the South.
But, as a lifelong Dolphin fan, leave my league alone.
Thanks to Ray for pointing me to this.
CLIPPER, COMIC, OR BEASTIE?
A NOTE ABOUT INFLATION.
Here's what $216,000 will buy.
In today's dollars.
Courtesy of HuffingtonPost.com.
SOMEHOW I MISSED THIS...
Here's the "signing statement" our "president" added to the McCain torture law:
"The executive branch shall construe [the law] in a manner consistent with the constitutional authority of the President . . . as Commander in Chief," ... "will assist in achieving the shared objective of the Congress and the President . . . of protecting the American people from further terrorist attacks."
In other words, the Constitution is whatever I say it is.
Russ Feingold in '08! Let's impeach the SOB. Now.
BTW, the image above is available on T-shirts and more at whitehouse.org.
No, seriously.
LAST NIGHT'S AMERICAN IDOL WINNER...
...got more votes than any president in history according to the New York Times.
But that's stupid. I mean, you can vote more than once! And - who knows, with all the voting handled by a corporate sponsor with a vested interest in the outcome, if the voting was even tabulated correctly? And, c'mon - let's face it -- this is a carefully-orchestrated talent show designed to take the TV viewers attention off of...
Oh.
May 24, 2006
APPLE AND NIKE GET TOGETHER.
Apparently, your Nike shoes, when worn with your iPod Nano, can record your workout data.
Once you sync your iPod, your workout data, progress, etc. are uploaded to a website where you can check your progress.
No word on whether the NSA gets the data directly, or they have to download it from the website.
AND THE GOP THINKS CARTER SHOULD BE CENSURED?
Oh, that's rich.
SEATTLE'S LUSTY LADY THEATRE = COMEDY GENIUS.
AS MY FRIEND MR. DONOVAN WOULD SAY...
It looks like someone's taping a show in their living room in Burbank, California.
May 23, 2006
YET ANOTHER REASON NOT TO TAKE A HUMMER TO THE PROM.
You know, speaking of "hummers" and "proms" -- oh, never mind.
AWOL COMEDY CENTRAL STAR OR DALLAS MAVERICKS SHOOTER?
IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED.
I've always been somewhat uncomfortable with the icons of our democracy. Whether we think of it this way or not, we WORSHIP the founding fathers, and the mythology of the American experience. We see this iconography on our money, our architecture, our stamps, etc.
But now that the government has approved "branded" postage stamps - we can finally get around to celebrating what we all know to be true - that our great country now worships corporations and business entitities, rather than citizens and ideals.
HUZZAH!
WHAT A GREAT WAY TO INTERVIEW!
Hirevue allows employers to have prospective employees record "virtual" interviews that they send to the company.
What a great idea - I mean, too many corporations treat you like crap AFTER they've hired you - this allows them to start treating you without any personal dignity whatsoever even BEFORE you've been hired!
WOW, THIS BUSH ENERGY PLAN IS REALLY SOMETHING.
BILLIONAIRRE NBA TEAM OWNER OR AMERICAN IDOL?
HEY, LOOK - YOU CAN SING YOUR OWN RINGTONE!
Here's hoping the woman sitting behind me at the Neil Diamond concert doesn't find out about this.
May 19, 2006
THIS WOULD BE HILARIOUS.
If they were joking, but they're not.
Un-be-friggin'-leavible.
MY NEW FAVORITE MASHUP.
Found via BoingBoing.
THERE ARE JUST SO MANY REASONS I DON'T GO TO ARENA FOOTBALL GAMES.
And a few of them are on display here.
HERE'S A TIP.
IF you live in Seattle,
AND they're threatening to close your school,
AND you hold an "all hands on" emergency meeting on campus,
THAT plots your strategy as to how you'll justify the need for your school,
it's probably best NOT to misspell the name of the Supreme Court Justice the school was named after.
Hey, I'm just saying.
May 18, 2006
SOMETIMES, YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHO TO ROOT FOR.
I'm rooting for the ball.
SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY...
You were rigging elections for him, so he could make Daddy happy.
Now, you're stuck taking pictures of the back of his head with your cellphone.
Ah, how quickly they forget.
Online today at huffingtonpost.
ZE FRANK IS BRILLIANT.
Go here, and click the video play button.
http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/05/051506.html
MORE DISTURBING THAN WHAT'S IN YOUR HAMBURGER.
GET READY, AMERICA.
BEFORE SEINFELD, JASON ALEXANDER TOOK WHAT HE COULD GET.
Found via Consumerist.com.
May 17, 2006
A ROUSING START AT DOLPHINS MINICAMP.
And thus begins another great Dolphins season.
Coach Saban on Keith Traylor:
'The type of behavior that allegedly took place is disappointing, it is out of character for Keith, and something we don't condone as an organization,'' coach Nick Saban said in a statement. ``It is important that our players understand the responsibility that they have in representing themselves, their families, their teammates, this organization and our fans in a first-class manner. However, because we just learned about this specific situation, we will withhold further comments about it until we gather additional information.''
Saban on Marcus Vick:
"I want to make it very clear that we will not condone any behavior issues in the future relative to Marcus Vick. Marcus acknowledges that he has made some mistakes, all of which has resulted in severe consequences for him. They have helped him learn that he will need to make much better choices and decisions in the future or risk similar consequences that could jeopardize his career as a professional player."
You know, maybe it's the heat.
PEOPLE...
It's a work of fiction.
Fiction.
That's been made into a movie now.
That trial over in Europe? It was about plagarism. Over who MADE IT UP in the first place.
Fiction means "not true" people.
Put the protest sign, and the bibles down....go home, and read a book.
Preferably something from the "fiction" section of your nearest Barnes & Noble.
If you see Bill O'Reilly books, you're on the wrong side of the store - technically.
IT ONLY TOOK TONY SNOW (THE PRESIDENT'S NEW PRESS SECRETARY) A COUPLE OF WEEKS IN HIS NEW JOB TO USE A RACIAL SLUR.
Bushy, you're doing a heckuva job.
via crooksandliars.com
CBS REPORTER: Why not declassify [the NSA's call records database]? I mean, the President did talk about the surveillance program a day after the New York Times broke that story. This would seem to affect far more people and it did sound like the President was confirming that story today when he was answering questions.
SNOW: If you go back and look through what he said, there was a reference of foreign to domestic calls. I am not going to stand up here and presume to declassify any kind of program. That is a decision the President has to make. I can't confirm or deny it. The President was not confirming or denying. Again, I would take you back to the USA Today story to give you a little context. Look at the poll that appeared the following day [...] something like 65% of the public was not troubled by it. Having said that, I don't want to hug the tar baby of trying to comment on the program... the alleged program, the existence of which I can neither confirm or deny.
IT'S A FLOOR WAX. IT'S A DESERT TOPPING.
It's a music video. It's scenes from a horror movie.
Thanks to my friend Ash for pointing me to this one.
JUST ANOTHER DAY AT BUMBERSHOOT.
God, but I love the Internet.
NOW, HERE'S A GREAT IDEA.
A device that helps identify WHY you're baby is crying. See, that way - you can determine the cause, solve the problem, and stop your baby from crying.
This is what I love about technology. This is a step forward from the old days when I would be crying, and my mother would burst into the room screaming, "STOP THAT #^*&%^ CRYING, OR I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! I MEAN IT! I'LL SLAP YOU SO HARD YOUR BRAINS WILL BE COMING OUT OF YOUR HEAD!"
Just kidding, Mom. Happy belated Mother's Day.
A NECKLACE THAT DOUBLES AS EARPHONES TO BLOCK OUT UNWANTED NOISE.
Laugh if you want, but I've attended some family reunions where these would've come in quite handy.
WOW! SCISSORS THAT HAVE A LASER SIGHT SO YOU CAN CUT YOUR FABRIC IN A STRAIGHT LINE...
Will the joys of technology ever cease?
THIS IS THE CREEPIEST AD I'VE EVER SEEN.
It's promoting a newly-birthed McDonalds restaurant in India.
Well, how appetizing (on all fronts.)
"Mommy, when can we go to the new McDonAAAAUUUUUGHHHHH!"
Found via Adfreak.
May 15, 2006
NO LIMITS, MY BUTT.
HARGROVE, TAKE NOTE.
DAMN RIGHT I AM.
STILL THE BEST VERSION EVER.
Again, Internet technology meets the best of Britain.
All Hail Ghyslain.
THE BBC GETS TO THE HEART OF TECHNOLOGY...
This is just brilliant.
BBC decides to interview an expert on the Internet music business at the moment the verdict in a case is breaking. However, they grab the wrong guy - and end up interviewing the CABBIE that drove him there by mistake.
See, even the BBC can look silly sometimes.
Thanks to TEDblog for the story.
May 11, 2006
AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE.
You know, even after all the time that's passed, it still makes me laugh out loud.
DAVE HEINEMAN'S NO PUSHOVER.
Turns out that beating up on opponents like Rutgers, Maine, and Akron doesn't prepare you well for primaries.
The Husker Dynasty is officially dead. Long live the rest of the Big 12.
As a good friend of mine always said "Huck the Fuskers."
Goodbye Tom Osborne - forever.
And good riddance.
May 10, 2006
ODDLY ENOUGH, THE MOSES ONE SAYS "DO NOT COVET TICKLE-ME ELMO."
Found via consumerist.com.
WORDS OF WISDOM.
From gapingvoid.com - one of the best advertising sites out there.
I'VE DECIDED ALL MY CLOTHING SHOULD TAUNT TOM CRUISE.
Available via Tshirthell.com.
By the way, if you visit Tshirthell, I take no responsibility for the content. I'm really hard to offend - but they manage to do it.
(Tell 'em Dave sent ya!)
HERE'S WHY NO ONE FROM MY HOMETOWN IN IOWA GOES TO ART MUSEUMS ANYMORE.
I have no idea what this is - but I've never been so frightened, and yet so amused.
Found via we-make-money-not-art.com
May 09, 2006
WIRETAPPING INNOCENT CIVILIANS WAS HIS #2 CHOICE.
Sorry, not a lot of commentary on this one. Just one word.
Idiot.
Thanks to my friend Neal for finding this reuters report for me.
A STORY FROM THE HEARTLAND.
A restaurant in Urbandale, Iowa has banned a family from eating at their all-you-can-eat buffet, because they leave too much food on their plates.
Ban them? We've found the family in Iowa that LEAVES FOOD ON THEIR PLATES! Get them on a tour!
These people are harder to find than the Holy Grail.
MORE SIGNS THAN GLOVES IN LEFT FIELD.
Found this on deadspin.com.
By the way, I'm offering $200 to any fan who catches Barry Bonds Ruth-tying ball, lights it on fire, and throws it back on the field. Anyone else care to pitch money in?
SIMPLY BRILLIANT.
Courtesy of BoingBoing.
May 08, 2006
32 YEARS OF WALMART.
Wow.
Courtesy of consumerist.com.
MAN. BUMMER.
*. **. MAYBE EVEN ***.
Thanks to my friend Scott for the image.
"GET. IN. MY. BELLY."
Looks like Microsoft is hot on the acquisition trail again.
May 04, 2006
SOMETIMES THE DOG THINKS THE CURSOR IS A BUG.
And hence, she acts accordingly.
TODAY'S EDITION OF "WHY DO THEY HATE US?"
Diamonds on iPod headphones.
Enjoy.
LET'S COUNT AGAIN!
How many things in this photo make you happy?
I'm up to about fourteen.
SO A FRIEND OF MINE USES EARTHLINK...
And yesterday, I get an email from his "spamblocker" asking me to enter my name - so he can approve email coming from me.
Makes sense in the era of spam. Nice work, Earthlink.
What's not so nice work? How about the "Visually impaired? Click Here." note at the end. Uh, if I'm visually impaired I might be asking "click WHERE?" or maybe even not reading this at all?
LIKE THEIR SKIES, UNITED APPARENTLY IS NOW WORKING BLUE.
I got this email from United today.
Not sure what "mile high rewards" means, but I'm sure eager to find out.
TODAY'S ENTRY IN THE NEW GAME SHOW...."AROUSED OR CREEPED OUT?"
May 03, 2006
DAVID BLAINE ASKS THE QUESTION...
Does the "30 seconds before getting back in the water" rule apply if you're being fed through a tube?
By the way, I maintain the world would be a better place if we had more news stories that included the word "magic" and the word "catheter."
AVAILABLE AT SUCK.UK.COM
Best wrapping paper ever.
I'm going to use this to wrap presents that I'm sending to Falwell, Dobson, and Robertson.
2006 - HEY, LET'S RENAME CINGULAR...LET'S CALL IT AT&T.
Just...genius.
2004. MAN, THAT AT&T BRAND IS IN TROUBLE. KILL IT.
May 02, 2006
"DAAAAAAD, I WANT TO TALK TO THE PRESS BY MYSELF."
"Seriously, Dad - let me handle this. You never let me do ANYTHING by myself. It's MY TURN to explain why our family is determined to undermine the fabric of competition in baseball. You go back to Vegas. I'll handle this."
"By the way, Dad - that hat makes you look really stupid. What are you, twelve?"
May 01, 2006
AT THE INTERSECTION OF HEARTBREAK AND INNOVATION.
You get this - a videogame developed to make understandable, and to make human - the tragedy going on in Darfur.
Simple. Brilliant. Addictive.
Nice. Job.
http://www.darfurisdying.com
NOW THAT GUY'S A BEARD...
Who knew their were beard teams?
Or competitive bearding?
Man, sometimes the comedy writes itself.
http://usabeard.blogspot.com/
A MONDAY MORNING PUZZLE...
Count the number of things in this photo that you HATE.
I'm up to twelve.
MY HOUSE...
won't look like this.
The Seattle garbage strike has been averted.
FRANK IS DEAD.
Feel good story of the year.
9 year old gets brain tumor. Nicknames the tumor "Frank." Raises money for treatment through sale of "Frank must die" merchandise.
Details at:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6974232/?GT1=6190
HERE'S A NEW AD FROM THE AMERICAN TRUCKING ASSOCIATION RECRUITING NEW DRIVERS.
It's their attempt to cash in on the romance of driving through America behind the wheel of a big rig.
You know, my uncle was a semi driver. Here's a few pieces of that romance they leave out.
1) Urinating in a jar since your company doesn't give you enough leeway to pull over to relieve yourself.
2) Truck stops full of pickpockets and folks with STDs.
3) Sleeping with your trusty baseball bat by your side, since trucks can be an easy mark in the middle of the night.
4) Heart disease that is rampant because of the stress, poor diet, and loneliness of most truckers.